Wednesday, September 28, 2011

What do you send or take to visits?

When we had E for respite care I would take him to his visits with his parents.  I packed a diaper bag of extra clothes, diapers, wipes, a bottle, finger food snacks and a toy or two.

I am not taking Primo to his family visits, because of a scheduling conflict, his social worker is taking him.

I packed his diaper bag with all of the things I mentioned above with the exception of finger food.  I also added a note card with some photos from Primo's first week with us.

It felt very awkward to write that card to Primo's family.  There were no scripted greeting card sayings that came to mind.  I completely over thought the whole thing.

I spent a lot of time thinking about what I would want if I were in Primo's Mom and Dad's shoes.  I LOVE photos, so I knew I would send those, but what to write in the card?

I kept it short, two sentences about his beauty and growth.

I was so relieved when Primo's social worker brought him home and told me it had been a great visit and that his Mom had really appreciated the photos.

What do you send or take to visits?  Photos, notes, gifts or food?  I would love to know.

Monday, September 26, 2011


This is the official blog nickname for our first official foster baby. Primo is the Italian word for the number one.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Be careful what you wish for

Whoa, am I tired.  I have not been up three times a night in a LONG time.

So many visits, social worker, DHS, (who have not shown up yet), Drs. appointment, WIC, advocate, family visits, and believe it or not I still have NO paper work for this babe?  Which made baby's doctors appointment a 4 hour ordeal.

We are asked to do a lot as foster parents.

The social worker at baby's doctors appointment told me straight up, and I quote, "You foster parents need a union.", and "Don't let them push you around, there is no reason you should be traveling an hour for doctors appointments, things need to be convenient for you too."

I love that woman.

Monday, September 19, 2011

The baby has landed

One month old baby boy, sweet, adorable and tiny.  Still have not met his worker, will have to call tomorrow, because I need to know what is going on with this little guy.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Whiling away the hours

Still no call from my agency.  I think I am getting depressed.

I signed up for training with my agency next month.  Ordered lots of books about foster care from amazon.  I am reading away the time. Learning lots, getting ready, organizing the house trying to stay positive and WAITING!

I am bored out of my mind.  I still have volunteer work, the usual chores, the kid's stuff, but I miss caring for a little one.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Waiting For Superman

I just finished watching Waiting For Superman, I silently sobbed during the school lottery section of the documentary.  The dashed expectations and hopes were more than I could take.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Finola's story part 3

On that fateful day in August, the judge decided he would live with his Grandma.  All Brody's things were packed and he was picked up that afternoon.  I vividly remember waving good bye to him with tears welling up in my eyes, and his smiling back at me in his little batman onsie I had picked out for him a while ago.  I knew very well that would be the last time I would ever see him.

Reflecting back on that experience is when I learned the most.  Brody taught me to take whatever life had thrown at you and smile through it anyway, make the best of wherever you are.  One of the biggest lessons from those four months was that I have to love not only what's good for me, but what is good for the ones I love as well.  It's not all about me, it's about being selfless and knowing what Brody needed was to be with his biological family because they could love him just as much as we did.  And most importantly Brody being in our house helped me see that loving even when you know it may not be permanent is okay.  Life's about loving and learning to let go when it's the right thing to do.  It's about giving all you have to this world and living to the fullest.

I still walk up the hall quietly sometimes thinking I don't want to wake Brody up, and when 'Crazy for You' by Adele plays on my iPod, I still get teary.  But I could not be happier that Brody came into my family's life for four fleeting months.  I still can't believe a baby taught me life lessons, but that has made all the difference.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Finola's Story Part 2

July was a huge month for the family and Brody.  We got a call from the agency asking us if we would commit to being Brody's pre adoptive home.  This means if his Grandmother doesn't do what she needs to do to get custody of him, would we adopt him?  The world stopped for me.  It was all I could think about.  Will Brody be my brother?  I've never had a brother before, I have three sisters.  Can I be a good sister to him if I'm going to leave for college soon?  What if he gives Mom and Dad too much trouble when he's older?  He could have a great life with my family.  It might be fun to have a brother.  But it might be better for him to grow up with his biological family.  I felt very conflicted about the whole situation.  But as always I had my Mother as the voice of reason who would keep reminding us he will most likely go to live with his Grandma.

The rest of July and through mid August was spent with hanging out with Brody.  I had to remember to hide my cell phone or he would take it from me and suck on it, we ended up buying him a toy smart phone so he could have his own cell phone to safely throw around.  As Brody grew he became more vocal, almost like he was singing.  I myself spend a lot of time singing around the house so we would sing together, one of our favorites to sing was 'crazy for you' by Adele.  As I sang he would try to match my notes with his little 'oos'.  My love for him grew especially because there was a chance he would soon be my brother.  His court date was in the middle of August, and was swiftly approaching.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Finola's story part 1

Finola wrote a lovely true story for her first English assignment of the year.  With her permission I am putting it on my blog.  I will be dividing it into three parts over the next few days.

This is her first draft, I like her writing in it's raw form, so this is how I am going to put it out there.

One more note, of course E's name has been changed.

Finola's Story Part 1:

One of the most influential experiences of my life ran its course in four warm months.  Who knew one eleven month old baby could teach me so much about life.  My family's first foster baby came to us in May of 2011, smiling and unknowing of the impact he would leave within my heart and mind.  How could a baby teach a teenage girl about life, you may ask?  Well, let me explain.

Brody was placed in our house as a seven and a half month old baby in the month of May.  I was still in school so I would see him when I got home, but I didn't spend very much time with him since I had homework to do.  Brody was just an extra something in my life at that point, I would have walk up the hallway to my bedroom more quietly so I wouldn't wake him up, and play my music softly in my room because my room was right next to his.  I saw him at dinner and in the morning, but no real bonding was happening between us.  I was glad because I was afraid to get attached to him because I didn't want to get hurt, he was, after all impermanent; his grandmother was trying to gain custody of him so he could grow up with his family.

Summer soon came in June and I found myself at home a lot, as well as spending more time with little Brody.  I would hang out with him in the living room, feed him cheerios, and watch as he played with his little colorful toys on the floor and banged on his toy drum.  I think he'll be a musician some day.  Without even noticing, an attachment was being formed.  As the family watched Brody grow, June turned into July.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Car seats expire?

Who knew?  Not me. 

I bought a fabulous infant carrier type car seat that regularly sells for $179 for $50 at my favorite bi-yearly huge consignment sale.  This seat is the awesome kind that I simply clip into the small built in attachment bars for car seats in my back seat.  (Who knew my 9 year old car would be so incredible?). 

I always hated installing car seats back in the day, with their safety clips that were so hard to get on the seat belt correctly. It was overwhelming to move or take out the car seat lest I lose the perfect position of the hated clip that kept the whole thing safe.

These kind of car seats with their two mini seat latchy thingies are my new favorite things.

When I brought this new miracle seat home and was looking it over and printing out the user guide I noticed something odd on the inside of the removable base.  There was a "manufactured on" date and below that it said, and I quote: "Do not use after Oct 13 2014". 

Does this seat turn into a pumpkin in Oct of 2014?

I don't get it.