When Primo's social worker came to pick him up for his first family visit she asked me if she should pull the car over if he started crying on the ride down town? Then she quickly admitted she was really nervous because Primo was the first infant she had ever taken to a visit.
Her surprising honestly quickly transported me back in time to the night that Primo arrived.
We received the call from our agency around dinner time. The only information the woman on the phone had to offer was that there was a one month old, healthy, baby boy who needed a safe place to land, in about an hour.
I had so many questions, there were no answers.
I said yes.
She called back 15 minutes later to let me know the baby's name and how much he weighed, and that he was coming directly from the hospital where he had spent his first month of life.
We would be his first real home. And he would be arriving in one hour.
Finola, Dolly and Vivienne and I sprang into action. We wrote up a list of items we needed to get through our first night with Primo and dashed to Target.
As I drove, with an eye on the clock, my thoughts began to race: What have I done? My life as I know it is completely changed, how will the girls respond if he is a colicky, sad baby? I'm too old to get up every two hours at night, this is too risky! I felt sick.
We pulled into the parking lot, I gave each of my daughters a list of things to find, and then announced that I would meet them in the "baby" section of the store after I ran to the bathroom to throw up.
I was nervous.
I have mothered 4 babies through good times and fussy times and everything in between and beyond. My reaction was over the top. I was completely petrified.
As soon as Primo came through the door my instinct and past experience kicked in.
I had never entertained the thought that a social worker would be nervous about transporting a 9 pound boy to visit his family.
I guess the old saying "practice makes perfect" has some truth to it. I don't believe in perfection, but practice sure does calm the nerves.