Mike and I chose to foster infants because we thought it would be an easy starting point for us in foster care.
We have A LOT of attitude in our house, the kind of attitude that comes from living with 3 teenage girls. It is not just attitude, there is a lot of eye rolling, rebellion, complaining, confrontation, most of this can be the healthy behavior of future young adults who are trying to find their own way in the world, but it sure can get old fast!
Mike and I thought that fostering an infant would cut down on the chances of adding more drama to our lives, after all babies can't talk.
I thought this would be common knowledge, and I felt that I was not as much of a foster Mom as the foster Moms who take on older children and the trauma and fear these children may have in their lives.
While it is true that Primo cannot talk, it is not easy. He is up three times a night and the sleep deprivation is not fun. He needs 24/7 care and he is home all day every day. He needs countless diaper changes day and night! He does not like the hour drive to his weekly visits and there is not much I can do, while in city traffic, to calm him. He goes to the doctor a lot, another long trip by car.
Recently while we were out to dinner for only the second time since Primo came into our care (click here to read about how hard it is to get a sitter when you are a foster parent in our area), I had the chance to talk with a few friends, one of whom is a foster mom of 6 years.
All these friends were unanimous in their feelings, they could not imagine taking on an infant at this point in their lives, but they could see themselves taking on a school aged child. I was shocked. I still think infants may be easier for me, but I felt a bit better that they didn't see me as taking the easy way into foster care.