Friday, December 9, 2011

Fostering infants

Mike and I chose to foster infants because we thought it would be an easy starting point for us in foster care.

We have A LOT of attitude in our house, the kind of attitude that comes from living with 3 teenage girls.  It is not just attitude, there is a lot of eye rolling, rebellion, complaining, confrontation, most of this can be the healthy behavior of future young adults who are trying to find their own way in the world, but it sure can get old fast!

Mike and I thought that fostering an infant would cut down on the chances of adding more drama to our lives, after all babies can't talk.

I thought this would be common knowledge, and I felt that I was not as much of a foster Mom as the foster Moms who take on older children and the trauma and fear these children may have in their lives.

While it is true that Primo cannot talk, it is not easy.  He is up three times a night and the sleep deprivation is not fun.  He needs 24/7 care and he is home all day every day.  He needs countless diaper changes day and night!  He does not like the hour drive to his weekly visits and there is not much I can do, while in city traffic, to calm him.  He goes to the doctor a lot, another long trip by car.

Recently while we were out to dinner for only the second time since Primo came into our care (click here to read about how hard it is to get a sitter when you are a foster parent in our area), I had the chance to talk with a few friends, one of whom is a foster mom of 6 years.

All these friends were unanimous in their feelings, they could not imagine taking on an infant at this point in their lives, but they could see themselves taking on a school aged child.  I was shocked.  I still think infants may be easier for me, but I felt a bit better that they didn't see me as taking the easy way into foster care.


  1. There is no easy way in to foster care. No matter the age – every foster child brings with them enormous amounts of baggage to be sorted through. Whether it's behaviors as a result of abuse and neglect... Or the constant care a newborn requires... There is no easy in the equation.

    Even if caring for a newborn seems "easy" enough, you still opened your home up to all the scrutiny. You still have to answer to at least a dozen people for every decision you make regarding the child. And when all is said and done, you rarely see the fruits of your labor.

    Don't ever sell yourself short! What you're doing is a wonderful thing. God bless you!!

  2. My husband and I are going to be starting our foster parent classes in three weeks; I also want to foster infants. We are the parents of nine children, four of whom have moved out and moved forward with their lives. We are currently raising five but I feel I am being called to be a foster parent. People think I am insane for wanting to do this. I am a 45 year old woman and my youngest child is almost 4. I can't shake this feeling of "needing" to be a foster mother. Thankfully, my husband is on board. I can't ignore the calling to help children and their parents. I'm very happy I found your blog.

    1. It is very exciting that you are taking the first steps to becoming foster parents. I too couldn't shake the feeling of needing to do foster care. And many of my friends still think I have sacrificed too much for foster care, but over all I am very happy being a foster Mom.

      Good luck to you on your foster care journey. Let me know if you decide to blog, would love to read about your unique foster care experience.

  3. As we start foster care, we will be looking to work with infants (age 0-5) at the beginning. Thanks for sharing your decision and why you started at that age group. I find your posts helpful with the information you are able to relay. Thanks!