Saturday, December 3, 2011

My tweezers

I have a pair of dark green tweezers that I cannot, will not, and never want to find out what it is like to live without.  They quickly and easily pluck out stray eyebrow hair.  Most importantly they pull that dark wiry hair on my chin before anyone can see it and when even I can only feel it.

These tweezers are magic!  I've had them for years, I don't remember where I bought them.  They have no recognizable markings or brand name, if they ever did these have long ago worn off from weekly use.

Last night on my way out the door to a PTA meeting I looked in my mirror and reached into the top left hand drawer of my bathroom vanity for my beloved tweezers.  They were no where to be found!

I called out to the general teenaged girl population of my home, "Where are my tweezers?"

Dolly responded that she had borrowed them but had returned them a few days ago.

"Not so," I yelled, "they are not here?!"  I was growing alarmed.

"I cleaned my room, and desk and found them there and returned them to your top left drawer," Dolly called out from the hall.

Now this made me suspicious.  The floor is not visible in Dolly's room, it smells like old socks and food that is just slightly rotted.  How could she have possibly cleaned her room well enough to even find something as small as my beloved tweezers?

Dolly came in to look in my top left drawer, no tweezers.

I am late for my meeting so I ask her to please find them and put them in my top left drawer for me to find on my return later.

No tweezers are in my top left drawer when I get home.

But three teenage girls are waiting for me, they want an advance on their December allowances for Christmas shopping.  I agree, but I add that I will be subtracting $20 from Dolly's monthly wad to replace my tweezers (this is the only thing I do remember about my beloved tweezers, they cost $19.99).

Dolly is not happy, she states over and over again that she KNOWS she put them in my top left drawer.  How can I charge her for the lost tweezers?  She accuses me of losing them!

Later Dolly comes back to remind me that she has paid me for some recent Christmas presents I ordered for all three girls from ModCloth, she is returning one item worth $15, so will I please only reduce her monthly allowance by $5?

I agree, go online and it is done.  Not one minute later she walks into my bedroom with my lovely dark green tweezers, my heart skips a beat.

"Where were they?" I gasp!

"In the hall bath drawer, Vivienne found them for me!  Now can I have that extra five bucks?"

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