Thursday, June 28, 2012

Clothing Inventory, a blast from the past?

I had to fill out a clothing inventory a while back.  It was interesting to see what my agency/DH$ thought were appropriate quantities of clothing.

For an child from 0-1year the minimum pairs of shoes expected was 2.  A child from 6-13 was only required to have one pair of shoes.

Now where I come from infants/non-walking babies don't wear shoes. My babies went barefoot in the summer and wore socks or booties during cooler weather.

As I continue to do foster care I am beginning to realize that shoes for babies may be a cultural issue?

I also found it interesting that all children regardless of age needed to have between 5-10 undershirts.  I have to admit that once my children outgrew wearing onesies I have never in my life bought another undershirt, say for a toddler or older.

I enjoyed the fact than once a child turns 4 years old they are required to have 9 pair of socks/pantyhose.  Never in my life did I imagine children wearing pantyhose.

When a girl turns 10 she is required to have 7 bras and 1 slip, minimum.  Do you know how almost impossible it is to find a slip these days.  I had given up when my oldest was 16, occasionally I could find one at Sears, but that was about the extent of stores in my area who sold slips.   I can also say with certainty that while I was buying my girls bras they never had more than 3, maybe 4 if they had a sports bra at a time.  Now that they buy there own they may have more, but 7 seems rather a lot.

I think it is a bit odd to require a minimum of 7 bras for one child while only asking a foster parent to buy one pair of shoes for that same child.

Maybe it is time to take a fresh look at the clothing inventory form?

After I typed the above line, I scanned the form for a revised date, this clothing inventory form was revised in 2011?  Hmm...

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

It's complicated...

just about sums up foster care in general and Primo's case in particular.

A lot has come out in the last week.  Things are happening, but as you all know nothing happens until the judge says it happens.

After quite a few sleepless nights and way too much talking about the 'what ifs', I have come to a place of semi-acceptance.  This case has to play out and I have to let go of my need to control.  There is so little control to be found as a foster parent, so I am choosing to focus on caring for Primo in the best way I know how. 

Primo is an amazing little boy, he is happy, independent and friendly.  He loves all of us and is so excited to see us after we've been apart.  As far as he is concerned we are his family.  We will continue to be his family until told otherwise by the judge or DH$.  This is not an easy system to live under, but it's all we've got right now.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The Lawyer was correct

No changes to Primo's case in court yesterday.

Not sure how I feel about this.  I'm tired, I'm frustrated and don't know what is going on, I don't like it.

Monday, June 11, 2012


There is court today.  I have no idea what time and I have little idea of what the outcome will be.  I called many times, weeks in advance to find out the actual time and courtroom, but no one returned my calls.  In this very large city it is not common for foster parents to go to court or to show any interest in going to court.

Primo's lawyer says nothing will change in court today.  Primo's new worker says his parents are ready to have their children back.  I say I will be nauseated all day.

Saturday, June 9, 2012


E is leaving today.  For his sake I'm glad his stay was short, he is missing Grandma.

I love respite care for the specific reason that it kept E safe and loved when he couldn't be with his family.  It's not perfect, for him we probably still felt like strangers, but we love him and I have to believe that makes a difference.

Connection and community are a couple of the things that many families with children taken in to foster care are missing in their lives.  If you or I get sick, or fall on hard times we would have family, friends and possibly Church to help make up the difference in our children's lives.  I have taken this for granted.  These connections and support systems are desperately needed. In fact they are what make it possible to survive raising children in a less than ideal world.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

E is back!

I received a call for emergency respite on Monday.  We had decided not to do anymore respite given how difficult it was last time.

BUT... this call was for E!  His grandma is sick and has to spend a few days in the hospital.

I can't tell you how good it is to lay eyes on E again.  He has grown so much!  He is almost two years old and is talking.

I don't think he remembers us, but he is still his usual laid back self.

My girls were beside themselves with excitement when they got home from school on Monday.

We are way more baby-proofed now that Primo is crawling all over the place, this makes the respite care a bit easier this time.

I am so grateful to be able to see E again, I honestly never ever thought I would see him again!

Friday, June 1, 2012

Bye Bye WIC

We went to our last WIC appointment today.  Overall I have loved my WIC experience.  Everyone who worked, in the very conveniently located office, was wonderful to Primo and me.  WIC really helped out with the cost of formula.  In my area all foster children qualify for WIC.

Because we will be weaning Primo off of formula in the next few months I decided not to continue with WIC.  I so appreciate the help they give, but as I am already food shopping for a family of 5 extra food for Primo will not be a financial burden.

If I am really honest I also don't want the hassle of having to separate my food orders at the grocery store to use Primo's WIC checks.

I'm happy to have one less appointment every three months.