I read this wonderful post yesterday, I agree that we as foster parents owe it to ourselves and to our foster children's family to deal respectfully with each other. Specifically, the golden rule comes to mind for me. I'm not always perfect in my dealings with Primo's parents but I truly do try my best to be kind and respectful to them.
Another part of this post struck a cord with me, the part that mentioned the occasional need to "tattle" on a family member. I have to say that I've been struggling with this concept for some time now.
The culture of Primo's case thus far has been very much one of "mind your own business". I don't think this is a blanket statement that would apply to other cases in my city, but I am not sure as this is my first long term foster care experience.
It has been more than a little difficult. There are safety issues that I feel reticent to tell the social worker about, but then I feel guilty if I don't. There is not an atmosphere of openness between Primo's two social workers, one of whom we never see, and the foster mom of Primo's brothers and myself. In fact I would say that we two foster moms know much more about this case than either of the social workers and it is starting to make everything very awkward.
As I have mentioned before I am a chronic rule follower, therefore my spending lots of time with another foster mom who is not a rule follower at all is making for some tough situations for me to handle. This coupled with the fact that social workers have often shared with me what I assume to be confidential info about meetings with others, lead me to feel that I would be exposed if I were to give voice to my concerns. Possibly making my relationship with Primo's parents very strained. Not sure if this makes sense to any of you, but I don't want to get to specific here.
All advice is welcomed...