Thursday, November 22, 2012

Being thankful for the tough stuff

Here it is the morning of Thanksgiving day and I have, after over a year of being involved in Primo's foster care case, awoken to the fact that there will be no fairytale, happily ever after ending to this case.

There may be some "better" outcomes, or a just plain hard outcome, even a bad outcome. All outcomes will be far less than ideal.

After forming relationships with Primo's parents, the two sets of foster parents who have cared for his siblings and the social workers involved in the case I realize that nobody is going to have the ending they hope for. And speaking of siblings, there are a lot of them, as the case has progressed they have multiplied. Seriously, there are such a number of siblings that no one family could take them all under one roof, that is not even an option at this point.

Foster care has also taken a toll on my girls. They are old enough to understand the system and all of it's failings along with it's apparent lack of common sense and this just plain pisses them off. They are angry and scared for Primo and our family.

My children, through foster care, have been exposed to the tragic reality that there are fellow human beings suffering in ways they could never imagine before.

On the flip side my girls adore Primo and love having him as part of our family. Believe it or not these two sides to foster care form a whole that we are all, at this point, still willing to live with.

Despite all of the difficulties and sadness of Primo's case, being involved in foster care is still one of the best decisions Mike and I have ever made. Our whole family has been stretched and broadened by the experience. Foster care gives special meaning to our lives.

So, today I'm thankful for all the beautiful, wonderful, happy things in my life along with all of the difficult and tough stuff because in reality they are all one.

1 comment:

  1. I can echo so many of the things you mention in this post. I too think it was a good decision for our family to foster despite it being one of the most difficult things we've ever done.

    I too am thankful for it all.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!