Monday, December 31, 2012

Unsolicited Advice

I'm well aware that the impact of taking on foster care isn't limited to my immediate family. The effects of foster care touch my entire extended family.

Our honeymoon phase with foster care is over. The initial shine is wearing thin. My children are suffering and some of them have started therapy.

I never thought that life with foster care would be easy.

What really has me rattled is all of the unsolicited advice I have been receiving lately. There have been big changes in Primo's case, we have gone from beginning to transition him home to his bio parents, to being back at square one in many ways.

As the question of whether or not we are willing to adopt Primo comes up from our agency and DH$ the opinions of my and Mike's siblings and parents come pouring in. With one exception, we have not asked anyone for advice.

I didn't realized that being in my mid forties would be such a high hurdle for my family to get over when it comes to Primo possibly, because let's face it there are no sure things in foster care, joining our family!

On top of that Primo has another sibling on the way and this completely pushes our families over the edge. To the point of Mike and I receiving a scathing lecture from my youngest sibling on Christmas day. We were told that we have done enough to save the world, and then we were reprimanded for even thinking about burdening our(old)selves with two more children.

I should say that I actually don't take too much of the advice and lecturing personally, but the volume of advice and lectures is starting to wear me down a bit.


  1. Ewe. Tell them to shut up.

    Lol, of course I know you won't do that...but, eventually you have to "invite" everyone to keep their opinions to themselves when it is YOUR life.

    1. I truly LOVE your use of "invite"!