Thursday, January 3, 2013

Photos

I take a lot of photos of Primo. I started out taking pictures to each visit with his parents, babies change so much and so quickly from week to week and I wanted them to have a visible record of his babyhood.

I still often take photos to visits and give them to Primo's parents. BUT I have started to have to edit the photos quite heavily. When Primo was small and couldn't move it was easy to set up a shot with nothing in the back round etc. Now that Primo is walking and running it isn't so easy.

Sometimes the house is messy in the back round, or horrors of all horrors there is an uncovered outlet showing in a photo (Primo's greatest joy right now is to pull out outlet covers and lose them), or the dog, or my kids or another relative,  or the exterior of my house is showing in outdoor photos, you get the idea.

Am I just paranoid?

I want to continue to give Primo's parents photos of their son, but it is hard to get a shot of him alone, he is almost always reading a book with one of us or being held. Do bio parents really want to see shots of their son with his foster family? I don't know. These photos are an accurate record of his daily life, but maybe I should continue to only send photos of Primo alone. When I send a bunch of vacation photos of Primo alone it seems like he spends his time by himself surrounded by paparazzi.

What do you do?

9 comments:

  1. I include pictures of all the members of our family. (At their last visit I even gave bio mom a studio shot of all of us.) If the pictures are ever shown to the kids after they leave my home, I want them to have a record of all of us. Granted, mine are older than Primo. But still. He'll need to know that he was surrounded by a loving family and not paparazzi.

    Of course there's nothing wrong per se with sending shots of just Primo. But I don't think it's a problem at all to include other members of your family.

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  2. I mostly send pictures of the children alone (or with their siblings in care) while they are still with me. I don't worry too much about the background being recognizable, but my house isn't particularly distinctive. (I've been known to edit photos on the computer before printing them in order to get more of a "close-up" feel._

    Then, when it's time for them to go back to family, I put together a photo album that includes both those pictures and the ones with our family members in them and send it with them.

    That way, I balance my family's need for anonymity with the child's need to have evidence of the existence of people who loved him right now.

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  3. I did what G said the first time around. Sent the pictures with us in them after the fact. I'm paranoid also :) I did have a weird thing happen, this time, though. I actually stayed for bd's first visit since the girls hadn't seen him in a very long time and were terrified of strangers. He snapped a ton of pictures of them, some of them sitting on my lap. Later I saw on his facebook part of me on his computer screen behind him in a picture-creepy!

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  4. I have been a foster parent for a little over a year now. Today has been a tough day..real tough. I have a 5 yr old boy. As I was in tears today I decided to search for some info on dealing with it all and came across your blog. I just have to say how refreshing it is to know that someone else shares my journey being a foster parent. I thought i was alone having difficulties with case workers, bios, family members, etc. Thank you for cheering me up.

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  5. I forgot to mention..they placed a child with me whose parents live 2 blocks away in a town with a population of 7000 people and they didnt tell me. I found this out myself

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    1. Thanks Kristy. I too get a lot of information and comfort from reading other foster care blogs.
      You are never alone.

      I can't imagine caring for a foster child whose parents are only 2 blocks away, wow!

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  6. I take millions of photos (my kids are always moving) but only share ones from the park or inside my house... I'm not worried about their parents, but I figure at some point we'll have to deal with parents that are not quite as safe, and it's just good practice. I will share photos of kids with me or my husband if the parents have already met us (SW has deemed them safe enough for that) so that they see that that their kids are treated as part of our family.

    as a side note, home depot sells outlet covers with a sliding cover, which we installed all over our house because the plug shields are choking hazards (now the baby proofing things are harmful to the baby... sheesh!)

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    1. I forgot about those sliding outlet covers. Great idea, thanks!

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  7. We just got licensed this past week! I googled foster t o adopt and came across this blog and I'm super excited that I found it. Love it and thank you from a very newbie!

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