Friday, May 24, 2013


The end of another week, the end of this particular week marks Primo's 88th week in foster care. That is 616 days with out his parents and siblings. Enough time for Primo to come to believe that we are his family.

Truth be told I'm not sure there could be enough visits in one week for Primo to have maintained his bond with his parents. The bottom line is that he is afraid of them. This is very painful for all of us. His fear is developmentally normal.

With the addition of Primo's baby sibling visits have changed. He's lost his place as the baby and become the whinny toddler. This is very painful for me to watch. He plays with his older brothers during visits, but tries his best to avoid his parents.

Primo is still screaming at the start of each visit and periodically during the visit also. His baby sibling cries A LOT during visits. I can't imagine what it feels like for three adults and 4 children to be stuck in a small room for hours with all the crying, not to mention clawing at the door to get out that Primo does during visits?!

At the end of this 88th week the all of this sadness and disappointment is starting to feel quite heavy. I'm not sure how Primo's parents have survived the last 5 years.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

flying time

Often when I read other foster care blogs it seems to me that their children's cases are moving along so much faster than Primo's.

Then every now and then I see a photo on a blog and am reminded that usually time is just passing quickly for me because when I'm reading I am still envisioning that child as I imagined them on the day they arrived in a home.

Lest you think that Primo's case is flying on quickly I thought I should remind you that Primo came to me when he was a month old and just yesterday I started to think about planning his second birthday party, just thinking about it. Shocking I know, it is shocking to me to!

Primo is now more little boy than baby. He is super active, always running and falling and trying to jump off of things. He is talking, stringing together 3 words at a time. He is demanding and has a quick temper, but he is also loving and enjoys new things.

I wish I could post a picture of him, but I'm not comfortable with that so here is a photo of a boy that looks about Primo's age: