Thursday, July 11, 2013

How Many Walls?

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before but Primo's visits with his parents were cut back by the judge.

The result of going to less visits has been me liking visits even less. When I went once a week, (and for many months I went twice a week), it was just part of the foster parenting routine, I didn't love it, but I didn't question it or think about it that much. Now if you throw in a visit missed or cancelled by Primo's parents we can go a month without a visit, so when an actual visit rolls around again I resent it. I don't want to go, I feel nervous again about visits, I feel sad that Primo goes so long without seeing his parents, in short, I have many more emotions around visits now that there are so few of them.

OR, it could be that I'm feeling worn out by the system and the change in visitation has nothing to do with anything.

I'm tired. 

I don't know how foster parents carry on with cases that go on for more than two years. I know you hang in there for the kids, but 2 yrs to 7 yrs or 8 or whatever! years without a resolution is just brutal.

I can't even begin to imagine what this must be like for the children.

About a year into Primo's case I successfully gave it all up, in my mind I decided I would be patient, I had no control over foster care so I would watch it all play out, while loving Primo and doing my best for him. 

This is NOT cutting it any more. I need to get my good attitude back.

Is foster care like running, you hit a wall and then it gets better again?

1 comment:

  1. I hope you get some answers that say yes! We are having a visit tomorrow after six weeks off. I hear ya!