Friday, August 16, 2013

Open Adoption via Foster Care?

We are now filling out a lot of adoption paper work for Primo. TPR trial is around the corner, it feels odd to fill out this paper work before termination has been finalized.

This all leads me to think about how much openness there will be in this adoption. I know that I want Primo to still have contact with his parents once he is adopted. I would love to hear from anyone who has an open adoption via foster care. 

What has worked for you and what hasn't worked?

Is your open adoption agreement legally binding?

How many times a year do you have contact?

Etc.

Thanks!


2 comments:

  1. Hi Mitzy -
    We had an open agreement with our daughter's parents that was legally binding (kind of). It included:
    - Letters & Cards 2x per year
    - 2x per year visits, once in her bday month and once 6 months later.

    Maybe there was something else? I feel like there was...

    It had the following stipulations:
    - everything is stopped (null) if 2 consecutive things are missed (visits/cards/letters).
    - if they violate our privacy (aka, showing up at our front door)
    - if a professional says it is harming her
    - if, after she is 12, she doesn't want to continue visits (cards, letters, etc.)

    Our daughter's parents moved out-of-state the month before she was adopted. They visited her then and we haven't seen them since. They missed their 2 (then 3, then 4, etc.) consecutive visits and so the agreement is no longer legally binding. We do, however, communicate via phone, text, or email on occasion. I haven't heard from them in 4 months though - the calls/texts are getting fewer and far between. I didn't hear from them on mothers day, fathers day, etc. We'll see if they call on her bday this year.

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  2. We have an agreement with the twins mother. One visit a year, cards/letters 2 times a year. It is sort of legally binding, however, the other families that adopted the siblings have never made the visit.... we are the only ones who does the visit once a year. We took her with us to the water park this year. It's uncomfortable for the twins. They struggled with her overbearing/ overpowering desire to mother them. They basically shut down. we may only do it one or two more times. I think brief would be better. James doesn't care to see her. They like the gifts. She emails me often. I respond when I think I have something to say. I do this for her... not the kids. They do better without her.

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