Sunday, March 16, 2014

We went to church today...

which is completely unusual for us. We've become Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter type attendees for the past few years.

We tried a new service today and it was very interesting. The general take away message was about getting out into the muck of life and doing something to help the world. If you see injustice in the word go out and do something about it. You know, the old get our of your bubble/box/comfort zone and change the world.

Mike and I have been of different minds when it comes to foster care. I think it would be fair to say that I am the only one of my family interested in continuing foster care after Primo's adoption is finalized. And at this point I'm only committed to providing respite care.

While I was inspired by the sermon and thought a lot about the fact that the pastor talked about every child deserving a peaceful, loving home I'm still conflicted. 

Participating in foster care for the past three years has been a huge sacrifice, not in the way you may be thinking when you read this. I literally feel that I have sacrificed some of my children to the wrecked system that is foster care. While I'm confident that none of my girls would change the fact that Primo is their brother, this outcome came with some REALLY BAD PAIN AND SUFFERING for our family. The kind of HELL you would never choose to put your children through. I will not go into the specifics to protect my children.

I also worry a lot about how continuing foster care would effect Primo. He clearly has abandonment issues and how would he tolerate brothers and sisters coming and going from our home on the whims of DH$ and our agency?

In the end even if I do feel inspired to keep on with foster care, can I really do this without the support of every member of my family who lives in our home?

I know there are ways to be involved in foster care without having foster children in our home, maybe it's time to explore those other options?

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