Friday, May 30, 2014

1 out of 10 ain't bad for foster care

Our 1 is our new Dh$ adoption worker, she's has been out to the house already. I LOVE her, she works quickly and is organized. Not only has she been out to our home this week, but she's also been out to the 2 homes that Primo's brothers are in. Simply amazing!

Our family profile has been received by DH& and sent back to our agency for corrections and updates. This is unusual, but our new DH@ adoption worker and our agency adoption worker have both told me that our DH% adoption supervisor sends all profiles back and is not very easy to work with.

Well, you can't win 'em all, or as it goes in foster care: you can't win 9 out 10 EVER.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

We have a DH@ adoption social worker!

Yipee! she's coming out this week to visit with Primo.

Our agency adoption social worker will be sending our family profile to DH$ this week.

Finally some real movement!

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The next steps

Now that we have an administrator at DH& I decided to call our agency adoption worker to find out how the rest of the adoption process will go. (I will never speak to this administrator, he will chose a supervisor who will in turn assign an adoption social worker, this is who I will have contact with during the adoption process)

None of the following can actually be put into motion until we have an adoption supervisor at DH$.

1. Update our family profile. This profile was started last summer, when we expected TPR to happen in August, and was completed last fall. This is done by our agency adoption social worker.

2. Update Priomo's profile, same circumstances as above

3. Choose an attorney for the adoption.

4. Sign adoption agreement, name change form and subsidy agreement with DH&.

5. Sign intent to adopt and petition to adopt documents for the court.

6. Our attorney will file all of the above (along with Primo's original birth certificate, original TPR paper work) with the court.

7. Sit back and wait for 4-6 weeks while the court makes sure everything is in legal order.

8. If all is in order the court will let us know our adoption date!

Monday, May 12, 2014

It's been 80 days...

and there has been a little movement in Primo's adoption. He has officially been transferred to DH* adoptions and has been assigned an administrator who in his own good time will assign a supervisor, who will then, when they feel like it assign an actual DH$ adoption social worker.

I really have NO idea why this has taken so long, any ideas?

I think I need to go shadow a social worker in the DH% adoptions dept. it may help me to be more sympathetic and less pissed off right now.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Portraits

On a whim I took Primo to one of those department store places with a portrait studio. In the middle of the morning there was no one else there and they quickly snapped a bunch of photos of Primo.

Generally I think these kinds of photos are cheesy, but I told the photographer I preferred more candid shots and they came out pretty cute. I mean any photo of Primo is adorable, but these ones are funny and cute. He brought along his own favorite toy to pose with which really helped him feel comfortable. I drew the line at fake back drops and stuck with plain white and one other plain color back drop.

The reason I went to have his photo taken was so that I had a simple gift to send to his first Mom for Mother's day.

It feels like we are in an awkward in between space. TPR is complete, but our adoption of Primo is not. I've received conflicting advice from family and friends about whether to send a card or gift. I don't want to send a mother's day card it just feels weird, but I do want to acknowledge the fact that she is Primo's first Mom and will always be his bio Mom. My ulterior motive is to keep the relationship between us pleasant and open so in the future there may be contact, after the adoption.

My main goal is to have a healthy relationship with Primo's first parents for his benefit. What feels right at this time is to be in contact via letters and photos. I don't get much response, but I'll keep sending updates and pics of Primo.

From what I've read online and heard from friends who've adopted is that there really isn't much contact even in open adoptions. It seems that most of the time the bio parents drop out of contact.