Thursday, May 1, 2014


On a whim I took Primo to one of those department store places with a portrait studio. In the middle of the morning there was no one else there and they quickly snapped a bunch of photos of Primo.

Generally I think these kinds of photos are cheesy, but I told the photographer I preferred more candid shots and they came out pretty cute. I mean any photo of Primo is adorable, but these ones are funny and cute. He brought along his own favorite toy to pose with which really helped him feel comfortable. I drew the line at fake back drops and stuck with plain white and one other plain color back drop.

The reason I went to have his photo taken was so that I had a simple gift to send to his first Mom for Mother's day.

It feels like we are in an awkward in between space. TPR is complete, but our adoption of Primo is not. I've received conflicting advice from family and friends about whether to send a card or gift. I don't want to send a mother's day card it just feels weird, but I do want to acknowledge the fact that she is Primo's first Mom and will always be his bio Mom. My ulterior motive is to keep the relationship between us pleasant and open so in the future there may be contact, after the adoption.

My main goal is to have a healthy relationship with Primo's first parents for his benefit. What feels right at this time is to be in contact via letters and photos. I don't get much response, but I'll keep sending updates and pics of Primo.

From what I've read online and heard from friends who've adopted is that there really isn't much contact even in open adoptions. It seems that most of the time the bio parents drop out of contact.

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