Monday, December 8, 2014

Post adoption blues

I've got 'em.

Generally feeling down and bored. It sounds hard to be bored when I have a three year old at home along with two teenagers. I'm always moving, cleaning, driving, playing etc. but my heart doesn't feel in it right now.

We are still open to do respite care.

However without 4 monthly social worker visits and all the paper work I'm feeling a big let down. Parenting Primo is the same but without actively working in the system I don't have the urgent sense of usefulness I had before the adoption. That being said I don't feel ready to jump back into foster parenting again either. You must remember that I parented 4 small children many moons ago and I do NOT want to go back to that place in my life, it was HARD! Parenting one toddler at a time is much more enjoyable.

There's another piece to my post adoption blues. It's hard to be honest about this piece.
Mike and I are going to be parenting well into our mid 60s. As of today we are 2 years away from all of our daughters being away at college or adults out on their own. In my bluer moments I feel sorry about all of the couple freedoms we will be giving up: traveling whenever we want to, spending weekends out without needing a babysitter, sleeping in on the weekends (those 5:30 AM wake ups with Primo are tough). It all boils down to a loss of general spontaneity that I hadn't consciously ever realized I would miss.

So far I'm putting one foot in front of the other and walking my way through the blues. I think a long weekend away is what Mike and I need. Doing whatever we want to, with no nap schedule or potty training, sleeping into "whenever", reading, relaxing, walking at our own pace without chasing a 3 year old, you get the picture. So far this has eluded us, we need to find a good babysitter or find a time when our three younger daughters can hold down the fort for a while. Coordinating schedules with teens and young adults is tough, but I think it would be worth it. If it all comes together and we actually get away for a few days I will let you know, until then I'll be doing what I've been doing for the last 23 years: parenting.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Primo and I went to his first doctors appointment since the adoption. The weekend before this appointment I had received three letters pertaining to Primo's state health insurance. They were all very confusing and I'm still not sure what to do about insurance, but Primo woke up with a horrible ear ache on Monday and so we headed out to Primo's new doctors office.

Earlier in the month I found a male pediatrician whose skin color matches Primo's skin color. His office does not accept Primo's state provided health insurance, but I felt this pediatrician was the right one for Primo. So we added Primo to our own private health insurance, which is accepted at the practice. I had not realized that there would be no additional cost to add Primo to our health insurance.

I very much wish there was a class or some such thing to help out with all the post-adoption stuff like health insurance and birth certificates and social security numbers.

Anyway, the wonderful thing about the appointment was that instead of driving 37 miles round trip we only drove 11 miles! That cut our commute time down by 20-30 minutes! (depending on traffic)

There was a copay that we never had with the state insurance, but over all I'll take the short drive.

The needed prescription was covered by the state insurance, so there was not cost to us for that.

I wish I knew whether we can use both insurances or what the deal is, not sure who to talk to about it.

After 3+ years involved with foster care I have no inclination to spend time on the phone dealing with the state insurance plan, but I may have to???