Thursday, January 29, 2015

A little history leading up to our first post-adoption visit

I can't remember whether I mentioned this on the blog, but a few months after TPR in Feb. 2014 I opened a post office box in a town nearby and started writing to Primo's parents. His parents were happy to have contact this way and we wrote many letters back and forth. I have copies of the letters I wrote and have kept all the letters they wrote in notebook for Primo when he's older.

Letter writing was a safe way to continue to build our relationship before we decided if we wanted to have face to face contact with Primo's parents. I had always assumed we would have face to face contact a few times a year, but I have to say that once the adoption was finalized I was overcome with the temptation to completely forget about having contact and move on with our lives. This would be the simpler option, but I wanted to do what is best for Primo.

After Primo was adopted, I jumped on my google voice app and sent some texts to Primo's Mom to see if she wanted to get together for a visit. I got no response. I waited 2 weeks and left some voice messages, but still no response.

In the last letter I'd sent I had mentioned that I would call or text when the adoption was complete, so they knew I'd be in touch. Mike told me it wasn't my job to track them down, if they wanted to have contact they would respond.

In a last ditch effort I sent a letter and included my google voice phone number. Two days later I received a very grateful text message from Primo's Mom. She no longer had the same phone number she'd given me in our letters.

We set up a time and place to meet...


  1. Oh wow, I am on pins and needles for this one. My AS hasn't seen his first mom in over 2 years. (even though she is very close and has contact with others in the family)

  2. You are a great mom, for pursuing contact so assiduously despite the temptation to leave the difficulty and inconvenience behind. Kudos to you :)