Thursday, February 5, 2015

Our first post-adoption visit

We met in a public place near Primo's parent's home. Only Mom showed up and we had a nice visit. Mom did really well, she let Primo have his space and enjoyed visiting with me while Mike and Primo played near by.

Primo totally remembered his Mom. He was unsure at first and asked if Mike and I were going to stay with him? I reassured Primo that we would stay with him the whole time.

Primo came over to Mom and held her hand and talked with her, she wiped his nose for him and told him how handsome he is.

The visit felt like a win win to me.

But 2 days after the visit all of our potty training progress flew out the window.

Primo had been 95% potty trained when we went to the visit.

I can't be sure that the cause of the potty training regression is due to the visit, but on the drive home from the visit Primo insisted that I sit in the back of the car with him and hold his hand all the way home,  while he cried on and off.

I feel torn, I still believe that seeing his first parents is good for Primo, but a reaction like this shakes my confidence.


  1. I'm not a professional, and I know it's beyond frustrating to have behavioral setbacks, but I think maybe it's ok. Primo has this pain inside him, whether or not it's brought to the surface by a trigger. So maybe it's good for him to have these feelings and be able to expressthem with your support and the security and resources he has from his family.

    1. Thanks for the new perspective, I appreciate that!

  2. Adoption is just.hard. I know that you will navigate this the best way you possibly can with and for Primo. What that looks like may change over and over again as you determine what is best for him.