Thursday, June 18, 2015

Maintaining Contact?

For 3 months after visiting with Primo's first Mom he was back in diapers after being almost completely potty trained. I'm happy to say the Primo is now completely potty trained. Such a relief as he is almost 4.

I've been trying to set up another visit with both of Primo's first parents but no luck so far. If I'm being completely honest it's been a bit of a relief as Primo is ready to move out of his day care preschool and on to old fashioned arts and crafts and lots of outdoor play time preschool my other children attended. The hitch is that he has to be completely potty trained for this preschool, another set back at this point would be a real pain.

The lack of visits has been because I've not heard from Primo's parents in over a month. We set up times to meet and then I never heard from them. It's a real bummer as I had imagined we'd get together 3-4 times a year, but I'm letting go of that expectation. What will be will be. I will keep trying to keep in contact, but this is a two way street and I can only be responsible for my side of the street.

Most of what I read online supports visits for adopted children with their first parents and or siblings, but in my real life the 4 other Mom's I know who adopted via foster care, along with Primo's old social workers,  think I'm crazy for remaining in contact with Primo's first parents. They don't understand it.

I've also been trying to track down Primo's many siblings. I believe it is very valuable for him to know his siblings when he's ready. I found the parents of an older sister a few months ago, but have not made contact with them. One of the Mothers of Primo's brothers was down right annoyed with me for finding her. I've also found a bunch of adult brothers, but no one but me is interested in contacting them.

What would you do? I'd very much like to hear about your experiences with maintaining contact with your child's biological family.